Bruce Coyle

COLUMBIA CITY — For five years, Lynn Coyle has wanted new siding for her home.

Her husband, Bruce, has always told her, “no.”

To get anything I have to pull teeth from Bruce,” Lynn said. “He’s really conservative with money, especially with material things.”

When Lynn wanted a new, three-car garage, Bruce said they only needed a one-car garage.

After a some convincing, Lynn got her three-car garage. She always wanted new siding to match the garage.

“I nagged, but I realized I wasn’t going to win,” Lynn joked. “I put it in God’s hands. If I was going to get new siding, it would be Him.”

She thought Mother Nature would give her a hand — maybe strong winds would blow a tree or debris into the siding.

One day last month, Lynn was drinking her morning coffee, and Mother Nature finally answered her call, but not how she expected.

“I was sitting there, and all the sudden it sounded like a bomb or a car hit the house,” Lynn said. “It was so loud.”

She ran back toward her bedroom, where the sound came from, and saw a lamp knocked over, a picture off the wall, and a large crack in the drywall.

“I looked out the window, and there was a big turkey sitting there. It looked a little stunned,” Lynn said.

The wild turkey flew into the side of the Coyles’ home, leaving a large dent in the siding, and feathers everywhere.

“I didn’t even know turkeys could fly,” Lynn said. “I opened the window, it looked up at me, then staggered off.”

A car drove by, and stopped for the turkey, which flew off toward Greenhill Cemetery.

“I was still in my pajamas,” Lynn said. “I got dressed and went outside to see what happened — the dent was huge! Are you kidding me? I couldn’t believe the damage. If we didn’t have aluminum siding, it would have gone through the wall into our bedroom.”

She snapped a few cellphone photos of the incident, and sent them to her daughter, who was with Bruce. When he saw the photos, he didn’t realize it was his own house.

Lynn is getting her new siding now.

The Coyles have done some research since the incident, finding that turkeys can fly as fast a 45 miles per hour.

Bruce took to Facebook for comic relief.

“I have bee putting off the request for new siding for some time now! Well, you might say that bird has now just opened a door and my wife walked right through,” Coyle posted. “She conquers once again – this time with an assist from a dumb turkey!! I would be suspicious of my lovely wife creating the damage, but she would have had to have shot a frozen turkey through a cannon to have done this much damage. I haven’t found a cannon or a frozen turkey, so, siding it is! Man, that Guy upstairs has a funny sense of humor. As for me, I’m going to see if I can find some groggy lunch stumbling around the neighborhood.”

It’s not the first time Lynn has laughed at Bruce’s expense. Prior to building their new garage, the old garage had a small sink hole under it.

The Coyles were the founders of the Haunted Jail, and Lynn contacted the person in charge to assist her with a prank.

“We (Lynn and her daughter) put a skull with a crowbar stuck in it under the garage in the hole,” Lynn said. “We covered it back up and waited and waited.

“One day, Bruce said he was going to go out and work on that hole. I was giddy with excitement. Pretty soon he hits something with the shovel, and pulls out the crowbar with the skull attached. I played into it, and was screaming.”

Bruce told her to go get the camera and take pictures.

“He said, ‘It’s OK, we didn’t do it,’” Lynn laughed. “He was excited and wanted to call our son. After a short time, he went inside to call the police. Right before he started dialing, I told him it was a prank.”

Bruce still took the skull down to the police station, but he wanted Lynn arrested, jokingly.

“It looked so real,” Lynn said.

The Coyles live near Ellsworth and Wayne streets, where the large dent in the siding can still be seen — until Lynn gets her new siding.

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